my dad died 5 weeks ago and i can’t believe he has gone. It was very quick for him and pain free as he was in a drug induced coma. I was so scared to go and see him when he was first admitted in to hospital as he was hooked up to loads of machines and has a face mask on and I selfishly stayed away because I new I would cry if I saw him, then suddenly 4 days after he had been admitted I had a need to go and see him. so hubby drove me there and I talked to him as much as I could as he was waring an oxygen mask that covered most of his face it was hard for him to talk back. he looked very well and was quite at ease considering all the machines he was hooked up to when our time was up I just touched his hand and told him to get better I couldn’t look him in the eye as we left I told him I would see him soon, that night I got a call from mum telling me the Dr’s were going to put him in a drug induced coma after that it all went down hill and a few days later we agreed to switch the machines off as his body wasn’t healing and other organs were starting to fail. my family and I were there as he passed away I was even holding his hand and looking at his face as it happened I thought after the funeral I would feel soom closure but I don’t I can’t concentrate on anything my moods are swinging in all directions and if I haven;t got anything to keep my mind occupied I find myself dwelling and getting upset. my 3 year old son in always going on about how granddad Jeff has died and I have to put on a brave face for him and my other son. I am not sure how long I can keep this up. I want my Daddy back and it hurts like hell to know it never going to happen what can I do to help the pain
My Dad Just Died Please Advise?
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the love you had for your dad is the same your little ones have for you so don’t be afraid to let them see you cry over the fact you lost your father. from what you say it looks like your dad was going nowhere ununtile seen you he couldn’t let go without making sure you were ok that’s how much you meant to him !so by havin a good cry with the kids you will be showing them you can be normal and cry because its the way to show your true feeling .. explain grandad was a great parent a great grandad and ssometimes god needs good people upstairs to help him , take care but time does heal you wont ever forget so don’t worry wear the smile your dad always made you have that way you look in the mirror and remember all the good times//////… keep smiling
cherish the moments you had with him, tell your sons about him & hopefully you wont be sad that his gone, but you’ll be happy that he was your dad and them memorys will never fade. im sorry about your loss & also my advice, its not very helpful because i havent experienced this field yet. i dread the day that comes
Dear, grief is COMPLETELY NATURAL!!!!!! Guilt, anger, shame, hate, love, sadness are all part of it.
Time is the only thing that will make it easier, but it WILL get easier. Sorry for your loss.
My dad died alone in a VA hospital. By the time I got the news about how critical he was, it was too late to make the 3 hour trip. Many times, I have beaten myself up for not being there. At least you, my friend, were there, holding his hand. I get by through the memories,knowing that my dad was the best, and I know, he doesn’t blame me for not being there. My dad would be really pissed at me if I didn’t move on. I think that your dad would be the same. I know it’s hard, but, move on and keep your dad’s memory alive.
It’s only been 5 weeks you are still grieving. I lost my Mom two years ago but there are still days when for no apparent reason I burst into tears. You need to give yourself time, time does not heal but it does take the edge off the pain. Why not have a word with your doctor, he will be able to refer you to a bereavement councillor/centre. I know you may question what good could that do but to be able to talk things through with other people in the same position does enable you to relieve some of the stress and bottling things up is harmful. Don’t be afraid to cry, that helps as well. I wish I could give you a magic formula that will make everything O.K. but there isn’t one, only time. Chin up it will get better.